Death haunts even the beautiful: an early 20th...

It was not until after my father died that I definitely committed to joining the Church of God. I felt then that I lost the chance to introduce my father to my newfound faith. Needless to say, I worried of what awaits him come judgment day.

Knowing even then the biblical truth that prayers of the living won't help a dead man's soul, I tried to pray instead for the living, in hopes that I won't miss the same chance again with others in my family.

I must confess though, that I prayed that my father may find mercy from God on the last day, holding fast to the knowledge that God once said "...I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy." (Exodus 33:19)

I wish I could say something better... something less painful to consider. But I felt then that, for him, it had been a meaningless life marked by an equally meaningless death. That was why I mourned so much...

He was then at the end of a very long journey that never really started. And I felt sorry for him. Being a favorite son to him, I knew that a part of me died with him. I will forever miss his presence, those hauntingly funny memories of him cracking jokes on the fly. His never ending stories of time well past. It was as if my own life preceded me, those stories of his that almost felt to be my own.

Of sadness and happiness, he had many. Of endless lonely musings he had much. But nothing can really mask a soul so engulfed in the heaviness of its own spirit, which no one can run away from except by sincerely turning to God and following His commands.

I knew my father to be a deep thinker, though he was uneasy articulating it. Lately I've been into some lonely musings myself and realized how painfully eloquent he had been. For those who've seen or heard of his morbid end, I hope they didn't miss the point. In life or in death, there is no real meaning beyond God.

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About the Author BAGWIS VIZCARRA Google+

Joe Vizcarra is a Manila-based independent writer. With an A.B. degree in Communication Arts, his professional background includes writing for local TV news channels, a PR & marketing agency, and a national government agency.


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